insecurities

On Wednesday I attended a wedding 2+ hours away from where I live. I had a simple breakfast of a fiber one bar before I left around noon. I brought a diet soda along for the ride. The wedding was a simple event in a quaint chapel. After the ceremony several of the bridal party and guests went to a lounge to enjoy a few drinks before the reception. I had 1 mixed drink and enjoyed listening to the bride tell colorful stories. She is so vivacious and not afraid to say anything that would embarass her or her friends. I overthink how to say things and most of the time stay silent. I knew the groom from 1 previous meeting but took this opportunity to talk with him. Among other things we talked about our feelings of insecurity and our fears of saying what is on our mind. My car had more space so the bride came with me and she helped me arrive at the reception hall. Soon after I arrived my eyes saw the food and my focus stayed there. I did only have a breakfast bar and a soda. I did grab a plateful and a wine cooler. After I finished my plate I was thinking of getting more but my fear of being getting up from the table a wiggling around the chairs of other guests kept me in my seat. This was the first good thing. Shortly afterwards the cake was cut and of course I did not refuse a piece. At one point they were trying to pass more cake around but never reached my table before it was all gone. I know I would have accepted a 2nd piece. This was the second good thing. The dancing began soon after. I found a place to the side so I could video the grand march and first dance. The bride made sure I came out to the dance floor. She knows how much I like to 'shake a leg' but need a push to get out there and have fun. I didn't plan on staying to late since I was driving back home the same night. I said my goodbyes to the happy couple and left. It was a long drive and I was starting to get drowsy and my great thought was to stop for late night food to wake me up. The freeway exits lists the hotels, gas stations and food restaurants that are upcoming. I never did find an exit that had a Taco Bell restuarant. This was the third good thing. Well almost. When I got off the freeway and close to home I did stop at a Taco Bell and ordered 2 grilled stufted chicken burritos which I ate after arriving home. Eating food was so engraved on my mind that it didn't matter that is was 11:30pm.

On Thursday, I was meeting my boyfriend and his band at a park and ride lot. They had a show at our biggest festival and I help out by taking pictures and video. I was very excited to be backstage and to see the festival grounds from a different vantage point. The show began at noon. They played for 2 hours and I took pictures from both sides of the stage, from in front of the stage and up above. I knew eyes were looking at me but the focus was on the band. I have been taking pictures for months but this was a very big gig. Once the gear had been loaded onto the van and taken to our cars, we went back to the grounds to walk around and get some food. I order catfish fingers. Later I got chicken strips with fries. I would have eaten more but our feet and bodies were tired so decided to leave. We tried waiting for a shuttle but after 15 minutes decided to walk it. It was a long trek since we are both carrying extra weight. I was very sore getting into the car but glad we walked it. After getting back home, I grabbed a bit of food and sat on the couch watching DVR shows from the last 2 days. I went to bed knowing Thursday was a very good day for me.