It has been a week since my last confession -- posting an entry. It's tough to remember the feelings I had and the events of the days since the last posting so I will try again to post daily. I wish words would come out of me like other blogs I have read. Their thoughts "read" much better then I could ever do myself. I know this is one reason I take 3-4 hours to write my blog. I write a phrase and then delete part of it and then make changes and then delete the changes and then write a whole different phrase and the cycle repeats. I am not focused?
Monday was my TOPS meeting and I was unsure what the scale would reveal. I had a banana and oatmeal for breakfast and a Lean Cuisine for lunch. I recently started to write in a food journal so I did track the calories I ate. I was generally over the 1500 limit I set for myself; however, the scale gave me a -2.4 result. YAY. Ater coming home from the meeting I ate a normal dinner but somewhere around 9pm I grabbed pretzles out of the cupboard that I purchased the evening before. I saw what a serving size amount was and how many caloires a serving was then I saw myself take the bag to the table. While I was on the computer reading a blog and watching the DVR of my soap, I would pull out a pretzel and then another and then another and another. I guess I had 40 to 50 pretzles. My fingers were busy eating, typing on facebook and working the remote. I guess I love multi-tasking!
Tuesday after work I planned on looking at a local furniture store for a bedroom set. I asked Scott to come along. I had 2 or 3 ideas from the stores ad. Scott provided his advice and then I chose a bedroom grouping. He also liked my choice of mattress. Earlier I had my typical breakfast and lunch. I was worrying about going home and how much I would eat. I did grab the pretzel bag again. I need to break my bad habits!
Wednesday was the same foods for breakfast and lunch. I had the next 2 days off work so I was hoping this day would be similar to the last two. It was! YAY. I met Scott at a Subway after work because I had a seminar to attend for 1st time home buyers. I went to hear information and to prepare for what I need to do. The wife of the bands former bassist is a realator and she was one of the speakers. The meeting was over around 8:30 and I made my way home. I had just about finished the pretzles over the last 2 days so I was less worried I would eat again. I didn't but from all the salt I ingested with the pretzels, my ankles and feet were swelling up. I have to NEVER buy salty pretzles!
I stayed up WAY late reading a blog. It was a blog from the singer in Scott's band. In fact, I had been staying up late for about 5 days reading all her entries over 2+ years period. Her husband was dealing with a cancer diagnosis and I had a similar situation with cancer 7 years ago. Both of our loved ones died as a result of the cancer. I wanted to get it all read before their show on Thursday. I never met him prior to reading the blog but after reading his words, I felt like he was a friend and I mourned his loss. I wish I knew of blogs when I was dealing with my husbands cancer and his death. She has a written record of his words and his feelings. As time has gone by, I have forgotten much about my husband. I am sure she has re-read some of the postings and loves to "hear" him again!
I will end my blog here and pick-up with Thursday thru Saturday in my next blog.
Wishing for better tomorrows